


To Hell and Back for You

by gradoprincelyon



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Eventual Sex, Fix-It, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Canon, Rating May Change, Slow Burn, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2021-02-18 08:02:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21507841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gradoprincelyon/pseuds/gradoprincelyon
Summary: The Lagdou ruins are a place of rot and filth. It is to be expected from the 'birthplace of Formotiis', as Myrrh had called it. But when she'd told him Lyon might be trapped in there, ('reborn', in her words), Ephraim had dropped everything to go there, because he'd do anything to save his dearest friend.---A post-game fix-it fic where Lyon gets to live on, and Ephraim gets to realize feelings he's never allowed himself to name.(on hiatus)
Relationships: Ephraim/Lyon (Fire Emblem)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 33





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [A Quiet Hope](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13149195) by [OwenToDawn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/OwenToDawn/pseuds/OwenToDawn). 
  * Inspired by [I Am Calling Your Lightning](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12977859) by [OwenToDawn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/OwenToDawn/pseuds/OwenToDawn). 
  * Inspired by [i see fire](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5595202) by [Rethira](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rethira/pseuds/Rethira). 



> I have been wanting to write an Ephlyon fix-it fic for years, so I’m finally attempting it now. This is going to be a long fic and updates will be sporadic (sorry, I know life will get in the way) but I hope you all enjoy the ride
> 
> This fic’s beginning premise is hugely inspired by [I Am Calling Your Lightning](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12977859) and [A Quiet Hope](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13149195) by [DefaltManifesto](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefaltManifesto/pseuds/DefaltManifesto). Go read them!
> 
> less of a literal inspiration for the 'plot', but [I See Fire](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5595202) by [Rethira](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rethira/pseuds/Rethira) is a really amazing fic and inspired me to want to make a fix-it. I might also be borrowing a headcanon or two from it.
> 
> Just one more thing: **DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU HAVEN’T COMPLETED EPHRAIM'S ROUTE.** You will get massively spoiled for things specific to his route just from the first chapter alone (...don't say I didn't warn you!)

The Lagdou ruins are a place of rot and filth. It is to be expected from the 'birthplace of Formotiis', as Myrrh had called it. But when she'd told him Lyon might be trapped in there, ('reborn', in her words), Ephraim had dropped everything to rush there as hastily as possible. 

Too hastily, because even with Siegmund in his hands, even with a small but loyal battalion at his side, they only just make their way through hoards of monsters up to the topmost tower. But it had all been worth it thrice over - no, a thousand times over - when he sees his prize. 

Ephraim's breath hitches, and he rushes over to his dear, dear friend. Lyon's body is resting inside a bed reminiscent of a funeral casket. He lays bare of any clothes, his eyes closed, but his skin shows no signs of open wounds. He simply looks asleep - he is asleep, Ephraim confirms when he reaches for a pulse with shaking hands. He closes his eyes, ducks his head as he feels his entire body sag with pure _relief_.

Ephraim unlatches his cape - torn as it is from battling their way up here, it would have to do. He feels wrong, bearing witness to Lyon so vulnerable and naked as he is now. His heart lurches in his throat when he notices the scars on closer inspection. The nastiest one lay right over his heart. Of course it did.

"Ephraim," Seth says. Ephraim quickly wraps his cloak around Lyon's (small, frail) body. _He has a pulse, he is breathing_ , that is the mantra that runs through Ephraim's mind, and so he almost misses Seth's next words. "I must implore you again to reconsider this. It may be best he is left to… rest, here."

Ephraim doesn't respond. He is carrying Lyon in his arms now, so carefully, perhaps more carefully than he's ever held anything in his life. A part of him fears if he doesn't, Lyon may just vanish in a puff of smoke. 

He walks back to the group he'd abandoned at the door. "Knoll? Myrrh?"

Knoll steps forward. "I cannot sense a lingering dark presence within him."

Myrrh stares at Lyon for a long moment, but before she can say a word -

"Ephraim." Seth repeats.

"We did not come all this way to turn back now. I am saving my friend from this hellish place and you cannot change my resolve now, Seth."

Seth breathes, frowns. "Yes, your highness."

The walk back down and out of the tower is a long one, eerily silent as they trudge through the corpses of monsters they'd vanquished. Ephraim is insistent on holding Lyon the entire way, no matter how exhausted he feels. The relief of holding his dearest friend, alive again, makes everything worth it. Lyon is worth it. 

\- - - - -

"How are you faring, big brother?" Myrrh comes to sit beside Ephraim that evening, inside Lyon's tent. 

"Ah, Myrrh, I didn't hear you come in," Ephraim says honestly. "I've just been... sitting here since we set up camp." He looks at Lyon's sleeping form again. Still not so much as the slightest sign he'd wake soon.

"His soul is still resting," Myrrh says then.

"Do you know if he'd wake soon?"

"I cannot say..." she frowns. "I think... I think it is a miracle he was not transformed into a monster himself, in the ruins. Like all those other lost souls the Demon King devoured. It is so saddening..."

"We had to kill those monsters in there. They were too far gone... for who knows how long. We put them out of their misery." Ephraim ducks his head. He silently prays thanks to the gods that Lyon's already-tragic fate hadn't been that much worse. Ephraim clears his throat, needing to say something to fill the silence. "Myrrh, I... Thank you, for telling me what you knew about that place. Words cannot express my gratitude enough. I never thought I'd get to see him again, and now he is alive and safe. _Thank you_."

"No innocent person deserves to suffer because of the Demon King. Not even him." Myrrh gives a small, sad smile. "I think... I think my father would have felt the same. You say such good things about your friend. He is a good person."

Ephraim feels a pang. She may be older than him by lifetimes, but for a dragon, she is so _young_ and she has lost so much. "I'm sorry for what you went through because of the war. And please know you'll always have a home in Renais should you wish it."

"Thank you, again... but truly, I am just glad I could use the legends my father told me of to save even one more life. I only..." she trails off.

"Hm?"

"Ah... it is probably nothing," she says, but her eyes won't leave Lyon, and she's got this concentrated look on her face.

"If it has to do with him, please tell me. I can take it."

Myrrh finally looks away and back at Ephraim. "Um... it is just that... it is very hard for me to place, but... there is something strange about his soul."

"Strange?" Ephraim's heart lurches.

"I may just be imagining it, though. I must be. Knoll said he sensed nothing wrong. And I would be able to tell if the Demon King was within him still, but it is certainly not that. There is nothing monstrous within his soul right now."

"Ah," Ephraim says, not really understanding. 

"I'm sorry," she closes her eyes. "I am rambling on about something I'm not even sure of. Perhaps what I sense is only because his soul has been dormant for so long in those ruins."

"Yes..." Ephraim's eyes flick back to Lyon. "But... he will wake up. Soon, surely. He will. And then... then he will be free again to live a long life, as he was always meant to and as he deserves."

\- - - - -

Ephraim stays by Lyon's bedside constantly from then on. The trip back to Renais will take time, but every place they stop for camp along the way has Ephraim by Lyon's cot. He feels a twist in his gut, wondering what would happen should Lyon never wake at all, despite Myrrh's assurances.

Seth comes in the tent, along with Kyle and Forde. Ephraim tenses. He already knows what this conversation will be about.

"Can it not wait?" Ephraim says tersely before any have the chance to speak.

"Your highness," Seth starts, looking stern. "There are things that need to be discussed, things that could gravely affect _you_ and the future of your rule, and you can't keep pushing this off."

"Push what off? He has not woken yet," Ephraim hisses quietly, as if Lyon would hear anything in the first place. He glances back to Lyon's sleeping face, but it is as neutral as ever.

" _Whether or not_ he has woken up yet, if you're going to keep refusing to leave his bedside then we _will_ discuss it here." Seth continues without waiting for assent. "We are nearly halfway back to Renais and-"

"Do you even have a plan of what to do next?" Kyle interrupts. "We are… pleased for you that this mission was a success. But are we to just ride back to Renais with the one who started the war? No, I know what you're going to say-" Kyle holds up a hand when he sees Ephraim about to argue, "'he's innocent, he was being controlled.' But the _people_ don't know that. The _nobility_ don't know, and I doubt they'd care to know, so long as they have a perfect scapegoat to pin everything on."

Ephraim balls his fists tight at his sides. He hates it, hates how much they're right. Ephraim is king in all but the name now - as he's yet to have his coronation - but even he cannot simply command people to turn a blind eye to this. 

Seth speaks when Ephraim doesn't respond right away. "We've been discussing things and we believe that… If news spreads of Lyon living, assassination attempts will be made. A guard you station to protect him could turn on him, a healer attending to him in private could slip him poison. Then this mission will have been for nothing. No, worse than nothing, because of how badly it will reflect on _you_."

"We say this for your sake, your highness, please," Forde starts. "If people get the idea that the new King of Renais saved the bringer of the Demon King, and nursed him back to health? What if _your_ life becomes endangered, too? Or Eirika's?"

"We have to plan things very, very carefully if we don't want everything to go up in flames."

"It looks bad enough that you left so suddenly after we just returned home, without much explanation. We don't want your reputation getting irreparably damaged before you've even been crowned king."

"The political repercussions _alone_ …"

Ephraim shuts his eyes tight for a moment, wishing he could tune it all out. He doesn't want to think of politics. He wants the repercussions of war solved and done with, and he wants - he wants Lyon back. 

And he understands why their concerns fall to him (and Eirika) before anyone else - gods, it should be treason if they didn't. But it's hard not to feel agitated, that they're not truly concerned for Lyon, they're only concerned with Ephraim's actions. They'd been the most against this 'mission' from the start, telling Ephraim not to leave Renais, not now when reconstruction efforts had barely begun. But Ephraim was too stubborn to be swayed, and his vassals too loyal to let him leave on his own.

But they are right. As much as he hates this situation, he has to hear them out for Lyon's sake, if his life could well become endangered all over again. He sighs. "Alright. Alright, I get it. I get what you're all saying." 

The three of them collectively let out a breath. "Good then, if we're all on the same page…" Seth starts. 

Kyle says, "It's not too late to head to Grado's capital instead. Drop him off there and they can decide what to do with him."

"No," Ephraim doesn't have to think twice. "He's coming back with us and that's final."

Seth groans, and Kyle crosses his arms. Forde looks uneasy.

"You're still going to risk bringing him straight to the castle? Ephraim," Seth pleads. "We can find a safehouse for him away from the capital. He won't be too far should you wish to visit him, and there's far less chance of mishaps."

He looks to them, these three men that are the closest he has to friends besides Lyon or family besides Eirika. But even they cannot _understand_. He knows he sounds stubborn to them, but the war - the war took so much more from him than he ever would've thought possible. He had abandoned his father for the front lines all too readily, hungry to prove himself. He never imagined Fado would die alone because of it. He never imagined facing the very real possibility of his sister dying too, and this was only the start of the war. He was blind to Orson's loyalties and that betrayal almost cost Eirika's life. They'd had to abandon Renais for too long as the people of their country were harmed. He let Renais' Sacred Stone get destroyed. He had to kill Myrrh's father's risen corpse before her eyes, and that earthquake that started the chain of events, isn't that still going to happen? And what of Grado then? How many more are going to suffer because of Ephraim's incompetencies? Because he is good for nothing but a fight, but there's no war left to win?

And of all the things he lost to the war, failing Lyon is his greatest regret of all.

He killed Lyon with his own lance, when he'd still hoped till the bitter end that perhaps, perhaps he could be saved, somehow. Lyon, the only person in his life who ever truly understood the pressures, expectations and loneliness that comes with being crowned prince. Yes, Innes was in a similar position, but he has always been so intense with their 'rivalry', and the war only seemed to fuel it rather than amend it. And as much as he loves Eirika and never wants to think of her as _lesser_ , there has always been pressure from their father that he's meant to protect her. That they're not quite equals because the weight of the crown would rest on his head alone, no matter how much better a ruler she'd make. He doesn't know how he's going to manage it - Seth said it himself perfectly, hadn't he? The people don't really want Ephraim as their king, they want Fado's son. They want a symbol. Gods, they just wanted literally anyone better than Orson. But for all Lyon's old praises of his radiance, Ephraim doesn't have what it takes to be a good king. He doesn't have the intelligence, patience, compassion it takes to serve the people under his rule justly - not like Lyon. All he has is his physical strength, and the war taught him how few problems brute force can solve in the grand scheme of things.

So if there's one non-military endeavor he can do right by, for once, he just wants to help Lyon now, in every way he is capable. Damn the consequences. 

What would Seth, Kyle, and Forde think if he told them the truth? That Lyon wasn't entirely possessed, but _chose_ this path, in part because he resented the twins all long? He still hasn't told a soul the truth, not even Eirika - he doesn't want her memories of Lyon tainted any further.

Anyone would think him mad surely, for going to all this effort to save someone who may only have hatred left in his heart for him. But this isn't about himself, this is about Lyon. No matter his own feelings, Lyon deserves to live. No matter how much it will hurt if Lyon never forgives him, at least Lyon will be _alive_. It is far more than Ephraim could've ever hoped for a month prior.

"You're all talking as if Lyon will be instantly recognized," Ephraim persists. "Commoners would not know what the Prince of Grado looks like. Some nobility could, maybe, but they'd also have no reason to suspect he survived. I see no reason why we cannot just… claim Lyon is someone else."

"Someone else?" Forde parrots.

"But-" Kyle starts.

"He's still Gradoan," Seth cuts in. "He's still obviously Gradoan. Ephraim, there's a lot of anti-Grado sentiment in Renais after what happened. Even if they don't know it's him, people will talk if you suddenly invite a stranger from Grado into the royal palace. That's - no, it's out of the question."

"No, it's not," Ephraim can hardly keep the frustration out of his tone, his brows furrowed. "Okay, yes, he looks Gradoan, but I don't see how a disguise couldn't fix everything. A disguise and fake name and some story for who he is, just for the time being."

"A _disguise_?" Kyle starts. He turns to look at Forde incredulously.

Forde rubs the back of his neck. "His purple hair would be a dead giveaway, though."

"Then we dye it another color?" Ephraim says. "Make his hair turquoise, if that'll be the least suspicious, gods. We'll say he's just another Renaisian."

"How long do you intend to keep up such a ruse?"

"Until he gets better."

"Ephraim."

"You asked me for a plan and I gave it," Ephraim hisses. "Assist me with it or don't, but Lyon. Is. Coming. With. Us."

His tone gives no room for further argument. Seth pinches the bridge of his nose, accepting now that there was no changing the king-to-be's mind.

"You know we are going to assist you," Kyle says, the wheels already turning in his head for how to make this illogical plan work. "We'll... make the best of the situation. There's a somewhat larger town a few miles up the road, there's sure to be some merchant with hair dyes."

Seth gives a loud sigh. He certainly isn't trying hard to hide his distaste of the plan. "Maybe that retainer of his should dye his hair too, at this rate, if he's going to stick around."

Ephraim isn't sure whether Knoll was even a retainer for Lyon, or merely an arcane researcher for dark magic in Grado, but, what did that sort of thing matter now, and what did the distinction matter? He was here now, he helped fight with them to rescue Lyon - that all meant more than old titles did. "Knoll informed me he isn't going anywhere until Lyon's ready to leave, so, yes. Tell him he has to as well."

They are silent for a long moment after that, and Ephraim turns to look back at Lyon. Still asleep. Still so close and yet so far. Still… 

_Pretty_ isn't appropriate for him to think about his friend, no matter how much he wants to. But the word comes to mind unbidden.

He almost regrets his suggestion now, because deep down Ephraim's always thought Lyon's hair is _pretty_ , the soft lilac complimenting his eyes. He squashes the thought down as soon as it comes. Not everyone from Grado has lilac hair, but anyone with lilac hair is sure to be from Grado, and they can't risk the suspicion. What is a different color for a time, compared to Lyon being _dead?_ His hesitation is foolish.

"After we get back to Renais," Forde says suddenly to break the tense silence, "I am taking my vacation." He gives a quick laugh that sounds forced. "Think I've more than earned one now, huh?"

 _"Forde,_ " Kyle hisses quietly, warning.

Ephraim runs a hand through his hair. He had promised Forde that, during the war, hadn't he? "I apologize for dragging you into this mission," Ephraim says with a genuine pang of guilt.

"Ah... no, your highness, I didn't mean..." he coughs. "I mean, I had to come. Couldn't let Kyle here go off on the mission without me," he puts a hand on Kyle's shoulder. Kyle looks unimpressed. "Kyle, take a vacation at the same time as me so I don't have to worry that - er, that you'll die in the meantime or something."

"Forde, take your duties more seriously."

"What? I do! I'm here, aren't I?"

Ephraim rubs his eyes, tired, but gives a small laugh despite himself. He... appreciates Forde's roundabout attempt to lighten the mood. "For all this, you can take twice the time off I promised you, Forde."

"Wait - really?" His eyes light up. "Oh, with twice as long I can take Franz on a fishing trip to Carcino... Kyle, you should come with-"

"No."

"I didn't even finish."

"Unlike you I take my position very seriously."

Ephraim rolled his eyes. What even was this inane argument? They just won a war, they all deserved breaks. "The vacation is yours too if you want it, Kyle. Eirika and I can survive in the castle with a few less knights around for a time, we'll live."

Kyle frowns. "No, your highness, I couldn't possibly in such a tumultuous time as this."

"The road to Renais' recovery will be an arduous one…" Seth cuts in. "We shouldn't -"

A noise interrupts them - a soft moan, coming from -

"Lyon!" Ephraim whispers sharply. Everyone goes dead quiet. Ephraim reaches for Lyon's hand then, hardly realizing himself. 

The moments pass. Nothing else happens. Lyon doesn't stir. Maybe he'd only imagined… 

"Lyon…" he whispers quieter, rubbing a thumb gently over his knuckles.

Seth, Kyle, and Forde exchange looks. Finally, Forde breaks the silence. "...You really do care about him."

Ephraim doesn't look at them, doesn't take his eyes off Lyon. "...of course. He is my friend."

Forever and always.

No matter what has transpired between them, no matter what road lays ahead of them. Even if their friendship is unsalvageable.

Nothing will ever change how Ephraim feels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The premise (if you didn’t read the first 2 fics mentioned in the AN) is based on the Creature Campaign post-game, where if you clear the Lagdou Ruins 3x you can “recruit” Lyon.
> 
> A fair amount of Ephraim’s internal monologue is inspired by [this great analysis on twitter](https://twitter.com/clockfighting/status/1072979781875105792) (which also just really helped me hammer down how I want to portray Ephraim)
> 
> I like all different kinds of interpretations for what really happened, whether the Demon King was in complete control during canon or Lyon was actually all along. For the sake of this story, I’m going with the latter (more or less), just to clear things up if it’s confusing.
> 
>  **Next chapter:** Lyon wakes up. I’m still trying to come up with a fake name and backstory for him to have in Renais. Any suggestions? I am very open to suggestions.
> 
> Thanks so much for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I probably should have said in the first AN, but it was getting long already, so I'll say it here: this story will feature some side pairings. Nothing significant enough to tag, but I feel I should let you know the following will be (at least briefly) mentioned later on
> 
> \- Eirika / L'arachel  
> \- Kyle / Forde (implied, at least)  
> \- other pairings TBD
> 
> Anyway, on with the chapter!

_\-- 2 years ago --_

_"Ephraim, please. It's important we take our studies seriously. I know it's not fun, but it's all to prepare us for our futures. This will make us better rulers someday!"_

_They sit outside the castle under a pomegranate tree, the pleasant summer day warming their skin. Lyon had thought studying outside today might motivate Ephraim's focus, but his plan isn't working as well as he'd hoped for._

_"'Someday' is far from now, Lyon, our fathers are going to live a long time yet." Ephraim answers, laying back lazily against the tree. He looks very comfortable indeed, with his arms crossed behind his head like a pillow and a leg crossed over his other propped knee. The hem of his loose shirt rides up just enough to show half his belly button and a hint of hair. It is infuriating Lyon in all the wrong ways._

_"It doesn't make it right for us to slack off now," Lyon says shortly, forcing his eyes somewhere, anywhere else._

_"Huh, us?" Ephraim rolls his eyes. "I say you study too much. Why bother studying harder? You're already the perfect prince."_

_Lyon's face reddens, and he seems lost for words a moment. The shocked face Ephraim's gotten out of Lyon makes Ephraim feel… pleased. Or maybe it's just the widened eyes - the nicest shade of purple - trained on Ephraim that makes him feel… warm. Or something. But it is probably just the summer's heat._

_Then Lyon says, "are you making fun of me…?"_

_Ephraim chuckles, which perhaps was poor timing, because Lyon looks offended. "No, not at all."_

_Lyon huffs, disbelieving._

_"It's just you study all the time, Lyon. Even the way you study magic is more like homework than sparring. I couldn't manage it!"_

_"Well Eirika did say you have no aptitude for magic..."_

_"Ha, ha." Ephraim deadpans. Curious with a sudden thought come to mind, he asks, "What made you decide on studying dark magic, anyway?"_

_Lyon gives him a disbelieving look. "...Wait, are you serious? You aren't fooling with me? We just studied this."_

_"Studied what?"_

_Lyon sighs, exasperated. "Did you… did you take in anything I spoke of in this study session, Ephraim?"_

_"I did!" Ephraim counters. "I remember… uh, you said something about twins named Garm and Gleipnir, and… were they... Grado's kids or something?" He winces, knowing already that the answer is wrong._

_"The sacred twin relics of my country, Garm the Black Axe and Gleipnir the Dark Tome. They aren't named after literal twins." Lyon rolls his eyes. "Traditionally, it is a Grado heir's duty to master either axes or dark magic -- so that in a time of great crisis, a descendant of Grado could theoretically take up one of the powerful relics to defend his homeland." He pauses. "And obviously I can't even pick up an axe… so, that is why I study dark magic."_

_The last statement, self-deprecating as it is, goes over Ephraim's head. "Oh, so that's why your father wields axes."_

_"Yes… he is strong enough to do so." Lyon shakes his head. "Anyhow, do you not have the same exact tradition in Renais? Isn't that why you wield the lance?"_

_"Huh. I never thought about it," Ephraim says. "One day my father just told me to pick if I wanted to study the sword or the lance, and the lance just felt right, and so. It went from there."_

_Lyon frowns. "Do you even recall the names of your country’s sacred twins…?"_

_"Erm…"_

_"Siegmund and Sieglinde," Lyon supplies, but this time it's more soft than frustrated. "Siegmund the Flame Lance is your birthright. Sieglinde the Thunder Sword is Eirika's."_

_"Flame lance?" Ephraim's eyebrows shoot up. "Tell me more."_

_Lyon actually smiles then, amused. Pleased he's found a way for Ephraim to focus after all - even in a roundabout way like this - he continues by explaining in that soothing voice that lulls Ephraim._

\- - - - -

It's hard to remember conversations like that happened only two years ago. It feels lifetimes ago, now. Ephraim supposes fighting a war will do that to a person. He's not even sure he'd recognize his old self from then - so confident, so carefree, so... ignorant, to so many things.

It is a cruel fate that Lyon's birthright pushed him towards the ultimate evil, the Demon King. It is crueler still that Ephraim's birthright brought him to strike Lyon down, pierce his ribs and stab his heart out like a ripe fruit. Fate is cruel. Time is cruel.

But Ephraim slayed monsters in the Lagdou ruins with Siegmund to get to Lyon. He's _saved_ his dear friend now, thanks to the very Flame Lance he took Lyon's life with. So… surely, that much has lightened the weight of his sins?

He can't stop the guilt that weighs heavy. He can't stop thinking of what-if’s.

When Lyon finally wakes the first time, Ephraim is asleep, half sitting on a chair and half draped over Lyon's blanketed legs. He had fallen asleep while holding Lyon's hand, and so it's the feeling of it leaving his grasp that wakes him.

"Lyon," Ephraim breathes, realization dawning on him. "Lyon, Lyon you're awake."

Lyon does not answer immediately. He just blinks blearily as if his eyes are still adjusting. He takes in a breath - and coughs right then, throat sore with disuse.

Ephraim grabs a cup of water he'd prepared to the side and holds it to Lyon's chapped lips. Lyon drinks greedily, and Ephraim stares at those lips on the glass. Looks away. He should say something, but what, what to say first? 

"You must be very confused," Ephraim starts with, "but you're going to be alright now, Lyon, you're safe. I - we saved you."

Lyon stops drinking. His eyes are wide and he starts shaking his head just slightly.

"We're on the way back to Renais now. You'll get to rest there as long as you need before you're ready to return to Grado."

"Gr...ad.o.." Lyon wheezes.

"That's right," Ephraim gives him a small smile. He is trying not to show it, but he feels... overwhelmed with emotions. Lyon was comatose for days - no, weeks. Lyon was presumed dead for a month. Lyon was possessed for the better part of a year. He hasn't truly gotten to speak with Lyon since ages ago. And he is not so naive to believe everything is going to go back to how it used to be - far too much has happened. But that doesn't stop his eyes from roaming Lyon's awake face and drinking in the sight. It doesn't stop the hope that swells in his chest.

He stutters when he sees tears pricking at Lyon's eyes.

"I fa..fail..ed," Lyon rasps. "I hurt...so many..."

"That wasn't your fault," Ephraim says quickly. He grabs a hold of Lyon's hand, littered with the scars of magic use. Lyon flinches but doesn't pull away. "You did what you thought would save the most lives. That _demon_ manipulated you. But you're free now. It is dead and gone."

Lyon opens and closes his mouth like a fish, struggling for words. "I sh... shouldn't be..." He grasps at the sheets in a white-knuckle grip. "It c-can't be dead, that's impossible."

"I promise you it's the truth. After... After It's resurrection. We _destroyed_ It's body. It has no body left to return to. No force could bring that back."

"It's body?" Lyon whispers. He reaches one hand over his own heart.

"-is gone, forever." Ephraim hesitates, then boldly puts a hand over Lyon's. "And you're still here."

"Th-that... should be impossible, too." Lyon's breaths quicken. "I shouldn't be here... I shouldn't _be alive_ anymore... y-you do..n't under...stand."

His tears fall freely now, and Ephraim feels a rush of emotion - he wants to brush them away. He wants to hold Lyon and tell him everything will be alright until he believes it. Ultimately, he can't stop himself from reaching his hand to Lyon's cheek, thumbing away a tear. Lyon flinches again, but after a moment he does relax into Ephraim's palm somewhat. 

To think that now he can hold Lyon's hand, brush his tears away in a touch all too gentle - it brings more than just relief. It lights that long buried feeling in Ephraim that he's never allowed himself to name. Or acknowledge. Or… no... no no no, he isn't feeling anything more than relief that his dearest friend can live once more. 

He isn't thinking about Lyon's soft eyelashes as they kiss his tear-stained cheeks, and he isn't thinking about how small the distance is between his face and Lyon's own.

"You must be hungry," Ephraim blurts. "I'll - I will fetch you some food."

He doesn't really want to leave so soon after Lyon's woken, but he fears he may do something rash if he doesn't go this instant. As he pulls away, Lyon's head follows Ephraim's hand forward, and he wheezes some incoherent word. 

"I'll be right back, I promise you," Ephraim says quickly, looking away.

When he comes back momentarily with a broth - something easy enough to eat, he hopes - Lyon is holding a lock of his hair in front of his face, staring.

"What... happened to my... hair?" Lyon speaks slowly still. Ephraim's heart twists, half at how weak his voice sounds, half in guilt that they dyed his hair black in his sleep. It should be foolish, after everything, that this is what Ephraim feels guilt about. After that conversation and a trip to a market, they'd settled on black hair dyes, as it was a common color all across Magvel and it would've been the easiest color to take. They'd even trimmed the ends a bit. Only as much as necessary to get rid of split ends and impossible tangles. Not any more than that, because. Because. Because it wasn't necessary. Because they already were doing enough without Lyon's permission. Not because Ephraim was that foolishly sentimental of Lyon's hair length.

"I can explain," Ephraim starts. He walks over to sit beside Lyon again. "It's a… We decided it's a necessary precaution. Just temporary, while you're in Renais. We were worried if... well, with current tensions in Renais, many of the citizenry are…"

"Prejudiced," Lyon supplies when Ephraim fails to find the word.

"Right... That. So we don't want people recognizing you're from Grado," Ephraim finishes lamely.

"...Sure," Lyon says quietly. Looks down to his lap. "That's the reason."

There is a stretch of silence. There are so many elephants in the room neither have yet to acknowledge and it fills the air with tension. Ephraim doesn't know where to begin to bridge such a gap between them. He can't even know how much Lyon remembers and how much he doesn't. Or what Lyon is feeling in this moment. Towards him.

"...you should eat," Ephraim says, hastily bringing a spoonful of broth to Lyon's lips. Lyon stiffens before he parts his pale pink lips. They close around the wooden spoon clumsily, out of practice. Some of the liquid dribbles down his chin. For a moment, something about the sight leaves Ephraim in a trance.

Then he snaps out of it, takes the spoon back. Wipes Lyon's chin, perhaps a little too gruffly. Lyon's breath catches and he stares at Ephraim again with those eyes Ephraim has missed far too much. 

Lyon licks his lips. "How... long has... has it been...?"

Since the war? Since they left the ruins of Lagdou? "Do you have any... memory, of the ruins?"

"What ruins?"

"Ah," Ephraim stops. Perhaps that is a blessing in disguise. "Nevermind. Um, it's been..." Should he say? "It's been about a month since the war's end."

"A... month. How am I still.." Lyon stares at nothing in particular. His voice sounds so heavy with sadness. "What ruins, Ephraim?"

Ephraim holds up another spoonful to Lyon's mouth, waits until he's swallowed more down. "I was told of ancient ruins south of Rausten, and that... you might be there. That there was a chance you were trapped in there. I had to find you if there was a chance." _I promised I would find a way to save you._

"...You 'had' to." Lyon shakes his head. "What will... happen to me? In Renais?"

"'What will happe-' You'll be recovering. That's what." Ephraim says more sternly. "Until you're ready to return home."

"Home," Lyon echoes.

"I know the disguise business isn't ideal," Ephraim starts, "but it's only temporary. In Renais, as far as anyone has to know, we met during the war. You saved my life, and for that I'm personally inviting you to the castle to stay as long as you wish. That's the story we came up with, anyhow."

"This sounds... complicated."

"It won't be, we'll make this work," Ephraim insists. "Actually - can you disguise your accent?"

Ephraim is taken aback when Lyon's expression darkens. "My accent, too? What else do you wish for me to change about myself?" 

"Lyon, that's - you know that's not what I mean."

Lyon doesn't say anything to that. Ephraim feeds Lyon another spoonful of broth in favor of saying more on that subject for now. And he _is_ concerned about Lyon eating enough. When they were children (gods, was that only yesterday, or lifetimes ago?) But... when they were younger, Ephraim recalled how small Lyon's appetite was around meal times, how much less he ate compared to Ephraim or even Eirika.

"Is Eirika here?" Lyon asks suddenly, averting his gaze.

Ephraim pauses. "She is not here, no, she is back at the castle. One of us needed to stay behind."

Lyon makes a soft noise, frowns. Holds his arms. "I do not blame her."

"She wanted to come. It was more that I… imposed on her to stay behind."

Lyon just closes his eyes. "You don't have to embellish anything, Ephraim... She is right to despise me."

"What?" Ephraim asks. "That's not it at all. She has no reason to hate you. She mourned you as strongly as I. She..." Ephraim trails off, realizing what Lyon may be thinking of. "She… she doesn't know of what you told me, the night with the Sacred Stone of Renais."

Lyon jerks his head up. His mouth hangs slightly open, eyebrows drawn.

"I never told her," Ephraim continues, "I never… never told a soul what you told me then."

Because... How could he? He was barely able to process it, let alone voice it. Hardly able to think past his failures to his friend - to his country's sacred treasure - to everyone who'd died in a war he felt partly responsible for. Because Lyon had made it clear he chose that path (instead of perhaps confiding in the twins) partly because of resentment. So if Ephraim had been a better friend all that time ago, could everything have been prevented?

Just more of the what-ifs he dwells on nowadays.

Ephraim is pulled out of his thoughts again when Lyon speaks. "...Never told her what part? The part where my soul was... nearly devoured until I thought of you?" Lyon gives a hollow laugh. "The part where I orchestrated the war and that… 'persona' by my own volition?"

"You - you had your reasons to-"

"Why did you save me now? You of all people _knew_ what I'd done, you..."

Ephraim draws in a sharp breath. "Because you deserve to live. Because you will always be my dear friend, you _still are_ to me now."

"When I'm a monster who's hurt so many people? Including you?" Lyon's voice breaks on those last words.

"You thought you were doing the right thing!" Ephraim's voice raises. Lyon flinches, and Ephraim feels it like a slap. He isn't sure what he expected to happen when Lyon woke up - apologies and forgiveness? A hug? All he knows is this conversation isn't going how he wanted at all. He shuts his eyes, forces his voice back down. "You did it all to try to save the most people possible. Maybe the Demon King manipulated you into doing Its bidding without you knowing, but you did everything for a noble cause. You are not a monster. You have always been kind and compassionate, and you deserve to live."

Lyon doesn't say anything for a long moment. He looks at Ephraim, then the blankets, the tent walls, down to the hands in his lap. 

"Grado needs your selflessness, your gentle heart. The _world_ needs those like you." _The world is a better place with you in it_ , Ephraim almost says, but stops short. His voice is already wavering.

Eventually, Lyon responds, "...I- I can't even understand how your mind came to that conclusion." Voice tinged with bitterness, tears fall freely down his cheeks again. "I almost _destroyed_ the world." 

"You didn't-"

"- and even if I went back to Grado, they'd - " Lyon lets out a strange laugh that doesn't sound humorous at all, and wipes at his tearstained cheeks, "- they'd want me to abdicate if they even still honored my birthright, which -"

"That won't happen-"

"I think I know my own country better than _you_ do," Lyon snaps, gaze suddenly filled with such anger, tone so _bitter._ Ephraim winces. It reminds him all too clearly of the same contempt Lyon held when he revealed the truth, when he broke Renais' Sacred Stone. 

_I’ve always hated you._

_Someone like me could never become someone like you._

_How could I live in your shadows and not seethe with jealousy?_

Ephraim has never been one short of words - so long as he has a piece of his mind to share, and doesn't have a front he has to maintain, he has no filter. But he is truly, utterly unsure of what to say now in this moment, stunned to silence.

Lyon closes his eyes. Drops his head down in his hands. Then, quietly - "My head hurts."

Ephraim scrambles to stand. "I'll fetch a healer."

By the time Ephraim is back with a healer in tow, Lyon is vomiting off the side of the cot.

"Lyon!" Ephraim runs over to him faster than the healer. He pays no mind to the mess, just pulls Lyon's hair back like he'd used to do with Eirika's long hair when she'd get sick.

Lyon just moans. The healer feels for fever, examines him, questions him. She explains to him that the stomach can grow unused to large amounts of food when one has been starving for a prolonged period. Surely a month comatose in that tower had to do with it, life sustaining (dark) magic or no.

When Lyon explains something about not _needing to eat_ since long before then, since he first touched the dark stone months and months ago, the healer looks horrified. Ephraim just feels his stomach drop. How much worse had Lyon been suffering than they ever realized?

Ephraim's focus blurs after that. He doesn't even notice that she'd left until Knoll comes in later. He is much more of a novice when it comes to healing magic but he is nothing if not loyal. When Lyon's nausea is settled enough, he is in an exhausted state and falls unconscious again quickly. 

Ephraim feels unsettled. All the things left unsaid and unresolved gnaw at him like maggots. There's still so much to talk about, but soon they will reach Renais, soon Ephraim will be up to his neck in political responsibility, and he isn't certain that he won't drown. He just thought things would feel far better when Lyon finally awoke, and in a way they _do_ , but - but he still can't bring himself to leave the bedside. 

"Big brother?"

Ephraim lifts his head. "Myrrh?"

She pads over. "Knoll told me Lyon woke up? Oh -" she looks to Lyon. "He fell back asleep?"

Ephraim sighs. When had Knoll left either? It's like he can hardly pay attention to his surroundings today, not when Lyon takes up all his focus. "Yes. He's... very tired. He'll need to build his strength back."

She squints at Lyon again, much like she had before. Examining.

"Is something wrong?" Ephraim prods.

She blinks, looking surprised. "Oh... no, no, it is nothing. I suppose I'll just have to meet him when he is awake next time. What happened when he woke up? Was he himself?"

"He was. It is just that he was... very confused. I think he's rather angry with me. I suppose I expected as much but... I don't know."

Myrrh hums sympathetically. "He is your special one - I am certain you will work things out together, and he will forgive."

"I..." Ephraim stutters. All his previous trains of thought come to a sudden halt. "Special one?"

She frowns. Tilts her head. "Is he not special to you?"

"I mean - yes. Yes he is, but... Myrrh, he's not - that's not a phrase you say about two friends. I think you're misunderstanding." Ephraim's stomach flips.

"But, do you not care about him more than anyone else? You said, 'if I could have one wish, it'd be to see Lyon again.'"

"Well yes, because… I said so because he is my dearest _friend."_

"And he is your beloved, no?"

_"Beloved?"_ Ephraim coughs. His head whips around to Lyon, but of course Lyon’s still passed out, his now-black hair splayed across a pillow. Suddenly he's actually thankful Knoll and that healer left, too. "What - where did you get such an idea? Myrrh -"

"You don't love him?" 

"I do! But as a _friend_ would." Ephraim says. He feels his face heat. She gives him a long inquisitive stare.

Finally she says, "so you love Lyon as a friend? Like how big sister loves L'arachel?"

"Yes," he says quickly, eager to change the subject, "yes, yes that's exactly right, I - friends can be close and care for each other as _friends_ do, it doesn't mean… anything more than a friendship entails, alright?"

"Oh, ok... I think I understand, big brother."

"And please don't repeat this to anyone," Ephraim holds his forehead. "Don't tell anyone that Lyon's my 'special one', please." His heart is beating a little too fast. He has no idea how Myrrh would've thought - but no, she was mistaken. She learned the tongue of monsters before that of men, she just miscommunicated from the beginning. Really, nothing more than endearing kid speak. He'll look back on this and laugh later.

Later.

"Okay, I won't, I won't!" She huffs. "You're confusing sometimes, you know. But alright then. Hey... have you had dinner?"

"Is it that late already?" Ephraim says quickly, welcoming the change of subject. Like a cue, his stomach growls. It's as if he only just realized how famished he feels.

She takes one of his hands in both of her tiny ones, tugging like any child would when they want something. "Come on, big brother, you have to eat too. Lyon will be fine, he just needs rest."

"Alright, you're right. Lead the way." And Ephraim allows himself to get dragged out of the tent by a child half his height.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess my hand slipped and I made Lyon more goth than he already was. Yeah, Lyon has black hair now until further notice.
> 
>  **Next Chapter:** They will finally reach Renais Castle
> 
> Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on [Twitter @gradoprinceiyon](https://twitter.com/gradoprinceiyon), I'll tweet out fic updates on there (and talk a lot about Ephlyon too haha)


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